By Rabbi Yisroel Shusterman
This week’s Parsha Perspective is dedicated in memory of
Elka bas Zisel OBM
And in memory of Leah bas Rochel OBM
"I will bring bread, and you will feast your hearts
and then continue on your way.' And they said, 'Yes, we will do as you
said" -- Genesis 18:5.
Our Torah portion this week (Bereishis
[Genesis]18:1-22:24) begins with the famous narrative of the three angels
visiting the Patriarch Abraham. Unbeknownst to him, the three nomadic passersby
whom he had chased down and was now offering to feed, were angels in human disguise.
Their mission was to inform Abraham and Sarah that in precisely one year's time
barren and aged Sarah would miraculously give birth to a child. They had no
nutritional needs and the gourmet tongue à la mustard that Abraham rushed to
prepare for them was as appealing to them as sand à la mustard. Whether or not
they partook of this meal would not affect the outcome of their mission one
iota.
So why did they accept the invitation? Why make an
elderly man recuperating from a painful circumcision run around in a pointless
pursuit? They didn't even attempt a polite "no, thank you, sir"!
Would it not have been wiser and more "angelic" to politely decline
Abraham's kind overture?
For people who, like Abraham, are naturally chesed
(kindness) oriented -- giving is much easier, and infinitely more satisfying
than receiving. This preference can stem from a variety of reasons, depending
on the circumstances of the gift.
The act of giving allows the benefactor to feel
important, valuable and productive -- both as a person in general, and also in
the context of a particular relationship. Giving is also the ultimate
expression of one's humanness, the ability to transcend one's own needs and
care for another. And even on a selfish level, giving earns the giver respect and
admiration.
As nice as it is to be given gifts, receiving often has
strings attached. The recipient may not be expected to reciprocate in kind (due
to the nature of the relationship or the recipient's means) but recompense in
terms of gratitude and a feeling of indebtedness is certainly expected -- and
may well be the giver's primary motive. Furthermore, a gift can sometimes be
construed as a subtle attack on the beneficiary's self-sufficiency.
The above does not apply only to large and valuable
gifts. Even our small gifts and kind gestures provide satisfaction for us
We hesitate to allow a friend to run an errand for us --
despite her generous offer and the fact that she is already in the store.
Sometimes, we are even unwilling to accept advice ("Hmmm, that's a good
idea but just won't work for me because... Thanks anyways!").
The lesson we can learn from the angels is: allow others
to give gifts -- even if it makes us a bit uncomfortable, even if we'd rather
be on the giving end.
Take it even if you don't need it. If it makes it easier
for you, consider it giving instead of taking.
(Excerpts from Chabad.org -
from Rabbi Naftali Silberberg)
May you have a meaningful and uplifting Shabbos!
If you would like to dedicate the weekly Parsha
Perspective in honor or memory of a person or occasion, please contact
Rabbi Shusterman at yshusterman@chedermonsey.org
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