By Rabbi Yisroel Shusterman
This week’s Parsha
Perspective is dedicated in memory of Elka
bas Zisel OBM
Dedicated in memory
of Leah bas Rochel OBM
A lady overheard two
other ladies in the local supermarket lamenting the behavior of a certain
teenage girl. As the lady overheard more and more of the conversation, she
became increasingly irritated by the bad behavior she was hearing about and
found herself wondering what kind of parents could be so insensitive and
irresponsible as to allow the situation she was hearing about continue.
Subsequently, one of the ladies mentioned the name of the girl in question and
she realized, to her horror, that they were discussing her own daughter! Of
course at that point, she realized how differently she would have judged the
situation. After all, when it comes to ourselves and "our own" we
always see things differently!
The Torah
portion this Shabbat (Devarim (Deuteronomy) 1:1-3:22) begins the fifth book
of the Torah.
In the opening lines
of the portion, the Torah tells us that "These are the words
which Moses spoke to all of Israel..." The Torah then
relates how Moses (in a very subtle and non-offensive manner) reminded the
Jewish people of their various failings throughout the years in the desert. The
Torah specifically relates that he spoke of these failings to all of
Israel. When Moses spoke to G-d, however, he related only the positive
traits and virtues of the Jewish people. He argued on their behalf, no matter
what they did wrong. He always sought to justify their actions, however
difficult it was to do so.
We can learn a lot
about good character traits from these events. Often we find ourselves in a
situation of hearing something about somebody else and being in a position to
say something that might change things for the better. However it is all too
easy to remain silent.
Moses teaches us that this should not be so. If
absolutely necessary, we may find an appropriate moment to mention something
that we feel needs attention to a close friend or acquaintance. This only
applies to our relationship with that person and to our private communications
with that person. When speaking to others about that person, or hearing that
person discussed by others, we must always seek to give the benefit of the
doubt, to advocate on their behalf however unlikely the scenario.
Taking this one step
further, the ideal would be for us to advocate on that person's behalf in our
own mind and not just with other people. Just as I will always have a good
excuse and justification when it comes to my own actions and inadequacies, if I
truly cherish and respect my colleague, I will apply the same generosity when
it comes to their apparent failings.
Chassidic tradition
takes this idea yet further and teaches that when it comes to myself I should
be very critical, always looking to improve my behavior and never being
satisfied with weak excuses. When it comes to somebody else, I should go to the
opposite extreme and seek to ascribe positive motives or good justifications to
their actions, however far-fetched this may seem.
The Torah
portion this Shabbat always comes out on the Jewish calendar immediately
prior to Tisha B'Av, the Jewish national day of mourning; this year 5777,
it will be PG this forthcoming Tuesday. On Tishah B'Av itself,
we will recall the destruction of both Temples nearly 2,000 years
ago, by fasting and mourning and observing the other traditions of the day.
The
Second Temple was destroyed as a result of "baseless
hatred" between Jews. The only antidote to baseless hatred is
unconditional love. A good start is to give them the benefit of the doubt and
to always judge favorably.
May all of us find
favor with each other and with G d and may we merit peace and harmony in our
days.
(Excerpts
from Chabad.org - by Rabbi Mordechai
Wollenberg)
May you
have a meaningful and uplifting Shabbos!
If you would like to
dedicate the weekly Parsha Perspective in honor or memory of a person
or occasion, please contact Rabbi
Shusterman at yshusterman@chedermonsey.org
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