By Rabbi Yisroel Shusterman
This week’s Parsha
Perspective is dedicated in memory of Elka
bas Zisel OBM
Dedicated in memory
of Leah bas Rochel OBM
It has been
said that the difference between a healthy person and an unhealthy person is
that the former is working on his issues, while the latter is resigned to them.
Our Torah portion
this week Toldot (Bereishis [Genesis] 25:19-28:9) recounts the birth
of the twins Yaacov (Jacob) and Eisav (Esau). Growing up,
the two boys developed their contrasting lifestyles - Jacob of piety and
scholarship, as compared to Esau, of violence and corruption. How
did Jacob and Esau end up so different? Same parents, same upbringing, same
mother's milk, and yet so drastically different from each other that they
become the paradigm of all of literature's accounts of "the evil
twin."
In fact, they
provide a metaphor for the endless struggle within each of us: the G‑dly Jacob
and his desire for transcendence vs. the instinctual Esau, with his insatiable
drive for self-satisfaction.
A look at their
lives. Esau is born red and as hairy as an adult, and so he remains: Edom—red,
intense, driven, violent. From the day of his birth, he sees himself as a
static creation; that's who he is, and that is who he will be until he dies. He
sees no reason to work things out with his brother, to address the "other
side." He is simply Esau.
Jacob is born with
his issues as well. Timid, a bookworm, Mama's boy. Yet he is willing to
acknowledge and confront Esau. He dresses up in Esau's garb and tells his
father he will hunt meat. Jacob stares Esau in the eye.
It's scary. Can one
dress up like Esau and not become Esau?
Jacob succeeds,
impressing his father enough to secure the blessing, and then is left alone to
deal with his newfound self, to bring it into the rough world outside the tent,
where Esau is comfortable. He spends years as a shepherd in Laban's house. He
thrives, despite the bumps along the way. Eventually, he is sufficiently
empowered to meet the brother he once feared.
We all have our
issues, our places we'd rather not go. The easiest way is to let sleeping dogs
lie, to just let them be. Uncovering wounds only seems to evoke painful
feelings. Yet if we don't address our issues, we simply drift along. If we
don't tackle Esau, we become Esau.
That was the
difference between them. Jacob and Esau each had their "other side";
Jacob was willing to acknowledge his and deal with it, while Esau chose to
ignore it.
We are given the
choice. As Shem told Rebecca when she was pregnant with the twins, "Two
ruling forces are within you; when one rises the other falls" (Rashi's
commentary, Genesis
25:23). If we choose to rock the boat, we can mature through our struggles,
emerge stronger. If we sweep the opposing forces within us under the rug, they
will pile up until we trip over them.
We've all been
there—something is said, and there is an awkward silence. We have a choice: We
can address it, like Jacob, or we can resign ourselves to it, like Esau.
When we go where we fear
most to tread, we come out the other side as "Israel"—we have
struggled and we have succeeded. As the defeated angel tells Jacob (ibid.,
32:29): "Your name shall no longer be Jacob, but Israel, because you have
commanding power with [an angel of] G‑d and with men, and you have
prevailed."
Let's be Jacob, not
Esau.
(Excerpts
from Chabad.org - by Rabbi Baruch Epstein)
May you have a meaningful and uplifting
Shabbos!
If you would like to
dedicate the weekly Parsha Perspective in honor or memory of a person
or occasion, please contact Rabbi Shusterman at yshusterman@chedermonsey.org
